if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
