yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
