I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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