i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
