careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
