he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
