I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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