plz talk dirty to me
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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