the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Randomize
