I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
