my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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