she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
