I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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