Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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