Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
