When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
