six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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