i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
