I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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