No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
