so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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