as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize