Just fell off a train. Bad.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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