O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
