Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How naked do you want me to be?
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