I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
