Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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