i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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