i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
