you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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