so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
