3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
