He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
