one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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