I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
