you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
