Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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