You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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