We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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