Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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