i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
