oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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