so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
