i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
