we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
