I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
