i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
