i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
