I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
