after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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