if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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