Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
someone owes me an orgasm
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
