I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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