There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
