yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
