I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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