I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
