what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
