Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
